Fear, Anger, Humility and Acceptance

So, I have to return to the question from my previous post, "So is it wrong for Him to expect time and character?"

I jumped to far ahead in the thought process with my previous response.

God does not do anything wrong. Therefore, His expectation could not be wrong.

Invoking God's anger has many other things to consider.

Implying a whole lot of things which remind me that His thoughts and ways are higher than mine AND that He is ultimately unfathomable. So, I will keep the further processing of these thoughts to myself for the time being.

What I can do is listen to His Word. His Word also tells me that He becomes angry slowly when I continue to doubt Him. His Word tells me that I must have faith and trust in Him as a little child does with everything in the formative years. His Word tells me that His perfect love casts out fear.

Something that continues to resonate with me at the moment is the Saul to Paul story, in particular Acts 26:14(b) ... It is hard for you to kick against the goads. You remember, Saul thought he was zealous for the Lord when he was in fact zealous for the traditions of men. He was motivated by fear and anger to stomp out the Jesus following heretics. He held the cloaks of those who stoned Stephen, giving approval of the crowd's actions, and likely feeling completely justified. Saul spent a lot of energy on this quest. When Jesus had enough, Saul experienced the fear of God ... and was transformed into the apostle, Paul. Jesus also revealed that He had been making it hard for Saul to go the wrong way. He had placed goads behind him so that Saul would only go forward.

Goads are part of a harness used to capture, control and utilize the strength of an ox or horse or other animal for the purposes of the owner. The Word says we (the righteous and the wicked) were created for His purposes.

When Ananias was given the task to go to Saul and pray for him so that Jesus would restore his eyesight, Ananias was a bit nervous and reminded the Lord that Saul was a 'bad guy' ... and he was from Ananias' perspective ... Jesus told him to go anyway and made it clear, "This man is My chosen instrument to proclaim My name..." Saul was a harnessed instrument, being driven by God for His purposes. And He further reveals that as the transformed Paul, he would continue to suffer.

Ananias was also harnessed. He went where God sent him and accomplished God's will for him in that circumstance ... and I'm sure Ananias had a choice whether or not to suffer anxiety over this task (or not) while he was being obedient. A choice, a challenge, a struggle in the flesh with the natural human perspective as opposed to the spiritual perspective. Which makes me think of Jonah...

All this gives me a different perspective on suffering. We are all harnessed for His purposes. Sometimes we suffer because we are fighting God's will (Jonah, Saul). Sometimes we suffer God's will for us (Jesus, Paul).

Somehow all this has to do with fear, anger, humility, acceptance and obedience. I've got a lot more thinking to do now.

Jesus, I confess I'm feeling fearful because my eyes are on natural things instead of spiritual things. I confess I've let this fear bubble up into anger that I've expressed inappropriately. I want to trust You like a little child does. Cause me to do that. Cause me to keep my eyes on You. Cause me to submit to the harness of Your purposes for me. I don't want to kick against the goads. Your Word tells me that You will never leave me or forsake me, that You are yoked together with me in this harness and Your yoke is easy and Your burden is light. Teach me to walk in step with You and Your purposes. I turn away from my kicking against the goads, I turn away from fleshy things, I turn away from my own way and I accept Your harness, Your purposes for me. Thank You for loving me perfectly and casting out my fears.

Presents or Presence?

There is someone in my life who thinks that big presents are good. They are. Especially if they are desired by the one on the receiving end, but...

What if the one on the receiving end desires something intangible even more than the tangible?

What if the one on the receiving end desires particular character qualities?

What if the one on the receiving end desires time?

Perhaps the one on the receiving end will ultimately be disappointed?

I suppose they would be if they received a tangible gift instead of what they truly desired.

I value qualities like commitment, honesty, integrity, transparency in a relationship. I willingly interact with people who exhibit these traits even if I disagree with them on serious issues.

Perceived lack of these qualities severely inhibits my willingness to interact with a person on any but the most superficial level.

I wonder...in several different places in the Bible God expresses His desire for time and character from His children rather than a tangible sacrifice or offering. Do you suppose He is disappointed?

Disappointment comes from unmet expectations.

He knows everything, being omniscient, so, His expectation can't be off.

No, I don't think He's disappointed when He doesn't get what He desires most, I think maybe He's sad.

Is it wrong for Him to expect time and character? He is, after all, the One who created us.

Then maybe He feels angry when His expectation isn't met?

I'm glad He reveals in His Word that He is 'slow to anger and abounding in love.'

I'm comforted to know He says 'My grace is sufficient for you'...

Lord God, I come boldly before Your throne of grace, to receive the mercy and find the grace I need for this day, and this circumstance, and this troubled relationship. Where would I be without You?