Well folks, this is a difficult time of year for me. Has been for more years than I care to admit. First, I denied it all and focused on the kids. Then, I denied it all and tried to manage it better. Finally, I got honest about it and focused on others' Christmas needs and applying the management skills I'd learned. My desire is to... hmmmm... eventually become conformed to the image of my Savior and since that is His goal for me, I'm sure it will be accomplished in His time. Until then I hope (that's the confident expectation of the goodness of God) to love while traveling through this season.
The reality is I'm surprised to hear the Spirit whispering that I need to also give attention to my Christmas needs. There is a selfish sound to that yet, I've been learning that "burning out for Jesus" is not necessarily congruent with, "If you try to save your life you will loose it, but if you loose your life for My sake, you'll find it in the end."
Jesus ministered to the sick and possessed for countless hours on end yet he would not let anyone divert him from the Father's plan for him... there is much yet that I need to learn.
I'm sorry, truly, for the ways my sinful patterns impact those around me. Some may say, "It's nothing, don't think of it again" but, large or small, sin is sin.
I'm grateful for the grace and love shown me by my fellow human beings.
I'm especially grateful for the love shown me by my holy God. Love truly covers a multitude of sins.
I confess... You are an AMAZING GOD!
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